It's really hot in Shanghai.

This remains my sole impression of Shanghai so far. Just kidding, Shanghai's actually a badass. Everybody likes to talk about it being that bridge between east and west, and I can definitely see that. 

TODAY, I...

Took an overnight train to Shanghai. I was in car 16, which I found out was the last one on the train. I knew that was probably a bad sign. I walked by about 8 cars or so and peered into the windows of Chinese people stretching out on nice beds in private rooms with TVs. Granted, I knew I wasn't getting one of those because I didn't pay for it, but I expected a decent train seat or something, some leg room maybe, a reclining chair, other first world amenities. Yeah, I didn't get that. I was in a window seat with 2 people to my right, so I couldn't get to the aisle way easily. Leg space was okay, but nothing spectacular, aaand they kept the lights on too bright to sleep, not to mention my chair didn't recline. Oh, and Chinese people blabbering. Anyways, I slept 2 really shitty hours. Woke up and wanted to take in the scenes of the Chinese countryside cruising into Shanghai, but the woman in front of me pulled down the screen all the way and was like "fuck you no scene for you." And the woman next to her was playing horrible Chinese music to keep her stupid kid happy for like half an hour. Now that I've let my bitterness out, let's talk about Shanghai. 

Insert checking into the hotel and taking a 3 hour nap in between train and Shanghai. So glorious. 

Anyways, I got up and went out on the town a little before 4 pm. Took the train over to the Bund area, which I will hitherto refer to as DAS BUND. DAS BUND is an area of Shanghai that used to be the financial center (I believe, didn't really read about it), and it's right by the river and has these really cool stone buildings. It's supposed to be a really major scenic attraction, which by the way is true, because there were a bagillion people crowding the street around it. From DAS BUND, you have the cool stone buildings and across the river is the Pudong area, which is like the major huge tall building part of the city. I walked all the way down DAS BUND to find that the food court was pretty much closed since it wasn't dinner time and a really crappy food court, which was disappointing considering I hadn't had a real meal since dinner the night before. I don't really have much more to say about DAS BUND other than it was really cool and I took a lot of pictures. It just made me feel all warm inside being there. No scratch that, 91 feels like 104 made me feel all warm inside. 

Pudong view. 

Afterwards, by some stroke of luck, I walked straight into the Yuyuan Shopping District, which was really cool. It's in the old Shanghai area and is supposed to be a major tourist hit, which is also true as evidenced by the huge crowds of people there. More pictures, because I don't really have words, other than the fact that I had a REALLY SHITTY DINNER there. They had some different meat kabobs, I got one with lamb and one with beef. It wasn't that they were bad as so much as the value. It was 12 yuan EACH, so I spent 48 yuan for shitty meat on a stick. So disappointing. At least the noodles were okay, at best...Meh. 

I at least got my fill, even though it sucked. After that, I walked back towards DAS BUND (yes I mentioned it just so I could use DAS BUND again) and took a ferry across the river (what a steal, 2 yuan...) to the Pudong side, and freaking waited in line for like an hour to go to the top of this huge building, the Jin Mao building, only to find that the line was for tour groups to get in free, which I couldn't do anyways. Soooo instead, I paid 88 yuan to go up an elevator to 88th floor and take pictures. So not worth it. 

It's the one on the left. The guy on the right is the world's largest bottle opener, standing at like 100 floors.

Anyways, that sums up my day. Yay for shitty vague descriptions of what I did today. Maybe I'll go to the Expo tomorrow if I wake up in time. Or not. 

Why I'm American and Stupid

Hi,

I'm actually not going to talk about why I'm American and stupid yet. 

First off, it's my last day at "work." This is exciting because that means I no longer have to get up at 7 am every day, instead can stay up until 3 am (which allows me a little more interaction with America, or probably the same since I'll be sleeping through your evenings). It also means I can stop riding the bus in the morning for like over an hour, and it also means I can stop wearing pants (I'll wear shorts instead duh). 

Speaking of the bus, I witnessed a sweet bus fight yesterday on the good ol' 691. It was basically the "I am a motherfucker" fight all over again, except Chinese edition. To set the scene, there was a younger dude (30?) and an older dude (50+). They started yelling at each other, but I didn't hear what they were yelling about since I was listening to Guster at the time (what else would I be doing?). The older dude's getting off the bus, but the younger douche figures its a good idea to kick the older guy a few times as he's getting off. He uses the leveraging of the rail and actually gets some good kicks in (in Chinese, we call it "chuai" which basically illustrates the way he kicked him, I can't really explain it, but it has it's own sorta meaning a little different from kick...Chinese people back me up here). This obviously pisses the old guy off, so he comes back onto the bus infuriated and starts wailing on the younger guy. He gets him in the face a few times with some strong enough punches, and the blood starts flowing. Then he uses his cane (no idea why he has a cane, because he seems to move just fine), and lashes the other guy a few times. So at this point, the guy's eye is bruised and he looks more squinty, and he's a bloody mess, and he still wants to hit the old guy, who's content and done his damage. Anyhow, that's really it. Everybody gets off the bus, and the poor bus driver has to clean up the blood all over his floor. Really upset I didn't have a camera for this. 

Okay, on to why I'm American and stupid. This mostly concerns my inability to order things. The first week of work, I couldn't read the menu, so I got "niu rou fan" which literally means beef meal every day, until I started learning what other people were getting and eventually mixed up the offerings to include eggplant, tomato and egg (a Chinese specialty), meatballs, and ji ding (which is a chicken dish with some veggies and hot peppers). 

My frustration continued at McDonalds, where I normally would just get things off the dollar menu, but I'm stupid, so I have no idea. I don't know how to say cheese, so I got burgers once, but they weren't cheeseburgers and I was really bummed. SO I was determined and looked up the word cheese (which is ganlao), but when I went back to the menu, I couldn't find the characters for cheese, so I'm not sure if they have a different way of saying it. Anyhow, I got back to pointing at the menu, and I ordered a number 2 and told them to ditch the fries and the drink. I also have no idea how to say McFlurry, so I always say "the oreo thing" and they understand me. 

I also have no idea at bars. I ordered this drink (a mai tai?), and I wanted to ask what kind of liquor it was. 

1) I don't know how to say liquor

2) I don't know how to say any types of liquor in Chinese

So for 1) I asked them what kind of drink, by listing a few things in English, vodka, whiskey in a questioning tone. So then he responded, and I had no idea what he said...so he finally had to muster up "rum" and I was like..."oh, I get it." I went back to my table feeling stupid. 

However, the biggest fuckup was on Wednesday, where I went to a Chinese restaurant craving something spicy and with a lot of meat in it. So I asked the guy to recommend something to me. He pointed at something and said it was spicy and had lamb, so I thought, oh good, this'll be great. I thought it was a little expensive though (38 yuan), but I got it anyways, and it turns out I got my 38 yuan's worth. The bowl they brought it out in was like more than a foot in diameter, this huuuuuuge thing with this hot oil drenched noodles and a bunch of lamb, potatoes, onions, etc. It was delicious, but the bowl of rice I ordered to go with it went untouched obviously. Man never said it had noodles in it! So yeah, I finished like half of it and waddled back to my apartment. 

I think my problem is that my Chinese is good enough to be understood without an accent, so that people mistake me for Chinese at first listen, and so they talk to me like I'd understand, but then I don't. So yeah, the moral of the story is, I can't live in China. 

Next Wednesday night, I'm heading out to Shanghai. Overnight train business, but the hotel still isn't booked. I think I'm going to...go to the expo, check out the big TV tower, hopefully take a boat ride on the river, check out the financial district, go walk around the shopping districts and not buy anything, and check out the club district. My uncle also recommends that I go out to Hangzhou, which is reputed as one of the most naturally beautiful places in China, and it's like an hour and a half outside of Shanghai. So I think I'll check it out. That's the plan anyways. 

Less than 3 weeks until I'm back in America. Can't wait to sleep in for the next 3 weeks. 

That's all I've got, since the last week or so has been rather boring. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I did go clubbin' again. 'Twas a good time, makes me wish I had more friends in China so I could do fun things and spend lots of money on alcohol. 

Also bought a ping pong paddle to make sure I covered my bases and fulfilled all cultural stereotypes. Dude wanted me to give him a 120 yuan, but I got it for 80. I think I still got gipped, but it should play well enough to my abilities, and probably still cheaper than buying them in America, where demand is tiny because nobody plays ping pong. AND ITS SHORT HANDLE. I'm so tired of playing stupid shake-hand American paddles. I can finally return to my glory days of owning people pen-grip style. Hells yeah. 

Bye bye America, see you in a few weeks!

Really short blog post.

Hi,

I just wanted to comment on how FREAKING NICE IT IS.

The last week in Beijing has been:
1) Hot
2) Humid
3) Hell
4) Hopeless
5) Hippopotamus 


BUT, the last two days have been great. It rained, and I think that's the cure for shit, if there was a cure for shit. I took Wednesday off because of a stomach bug, and probably a good thing, because mother sky straight poured for about 4 hours straight. Woke up the next day, and the clouds were absent, the mist gone, the fog removed, and the haze lifted. All that was left was the blue sky beaming down on a billion people (okay, so a lot less, it was probably only Beijing). This makes me think though, since the Chinese government can supposedly control the weather, why don't they stop spending on censoring porn and instead shoot chemicals into the sky and make it nice all the time. Morale would go out, people would be happy, and people in Tibet would stop complaining. Hell, Taiwan might even join the party (okay, let's not get carried away here). It's foolproof really.

Anyhow, my uncle and I have been scheming, and by scheming, I mean randomly interjecting Chinese at each other, me mostly not understanding, about me going to Shanghai for a week or so. I'll probably stop going to "work," because it's useless, and instead hop on a train to Shanghai and see the Expo (see: wait in line a lot). I think it'd be sweet, and daring, seeing as I don't really speak Chinese well nor do I know anything about Shanghai. I'd literally just be grabbing a hotel room, and walking around a ginormous city by myself. Good idea? I'd say so. Suggest things for me to do in Shanghai, because I have no freaking clue.

That's really all I've done for the last few weeks - besides the daily routine of wake up, hate myself, go to work, hate myself, eat lunch, feign 2 pm drowsiness, come home, eat dinner, and sit on my ass.

Oh, pictures.

Bye.